Marcus

(UPDATE)
 * "There's no ranch in Star Wars, there's only Long Island Dressing."

Marcus Turner is the creator of Cosmonaut Variety Hour, and the first of the co-host trinity.

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(OLD)

Marcus Cosmonaut is the third son of a Chaos God but was given no powers of his own. He is the originator of the Cosmonaut Variety Hour where he mainly works as a Lets Player and uses the minuscule power gained from each subscriber to plot his revenge against his own father and become the Lord of Chaos. Marcus hates video games and is the sole decider on whether or not any piece of media is good or bad, in which there are only two categories.

He is the supposed father of Pocket Son but doesn't pay any child support. His cohorts, Danthony Cosmonaut, and Megan "With an H" Cosmonaut have equal power and manage to keep him within the realm of humanity for now. He has temporarily lost his main source of power: his poofy locks.

Marcus Used to have many love interests, one of the more recent ones was a part of the fandom and was engaged before Marcus homewrecked and decided to fuck a fan, evidence of which he admitted to it used to be found in Lonely Hearts Club before he self destroyed it in an attempt to remain the good guy in his fandoms point of view. Nobody is willing to speak any further on this subject and treat it as fact with no actual evidence or sources.

Marcus is my dad btw